how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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