I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
