Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
