just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Two words: blizzard sex
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize