Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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