Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
