I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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