As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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