I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize