is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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