the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
