omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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