Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
from now on my penis is your penis
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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