he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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