I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
