Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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