Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
