he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
time to smoke my breakfast
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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