I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
