4 words: hood of his car
I just found puke in my bra..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
