You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize