so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
