we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
