mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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