What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
