and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
