I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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