I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
