it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Randomize
