You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize