Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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