so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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