Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
