where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
