why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
