Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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