She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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