This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was so not down for the gang bang
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
