one might say we're banned from that church
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
