Where did you get a picture of my penis
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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