I'm lost and stupid without you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
