Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
