dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
