she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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