yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
