apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
