Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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