If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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