so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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