Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
