He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
