Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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