Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
