none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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