if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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