He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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